Dear Lovely Readers,
Yesterday I returned from Bennington College in Southern Vermont and was driven right back into the hostile atmosphere of my apartment in the Northern Bronx. I come through the door and said hello to my mother who's only response was to stop ringing the bell. I pressed the ringer downstairs in the lobby many times so the sound could, with each turn, reach my mother's ear until she heard it and apparently she was annoyed by that. I tried again saying hello and she responded, this time, relaxed by saying Hola, como le fue? which means, in the Spanish: "Hi, how did it go?"
For some reason, as I settled my bags on the floor and my clothes in their corresponding drawers, I suddenly felt tired and felt that I did not want to speak anymore, so I stopped talking letting my mother digest everything I had just told her. A few seconds later, my mothers ask's me, "So what did they tell you?" Broad question, right? I stood still and thought of the best way to ask her to clarify what she mean. "Mami, what do you mean" I asked as calm as possible. And her face dropped to a frown. She inhaled and in an instant, the air around us became tight and warm. "What do you mean, what I mean? What did they tell you?" All I wanted her to do was clarify her question and she failed to do so. Instead, she answered in an hostile manner that made my blood pressure rise and I answered, this time speaking a little louder, "I MEAN, what do you want to know? They told me a lot of things. What specifically do you want to know?" I said this with my arms in the air, trying to let my words be emphasized by my hand movements. She looked down, stood quiet and emitted a soft, "nothing."
Arguments like these always occur between my mother and I at all times of day. There is never peace under this roof and there is no space between us so I feel like I am suffocating constantly. The suffocation I feel and the suffocation she probably feels makes us both angry and we unleash our anger on each other daily. The argument, thus, ruined the good feeling inside me that had engendered itself while I was up in Bennington College.
Bennington College has changed drastically since I was last up there earlier in the year. The incoming freshman class is like a flavorful spice that had been added to bland food. Their so energetic, vibrant, exciting, and colorful. Earlier in the year there were hardly any men on campus, but now there are tons of them and cute ones too. I was partnered up with a student named Toby, who was going 
to be my room mate for the night. I am glad to have been partnered up with him. He shares the same passions I have, like writing and literature. On his desk was a huge piece of paper filled with tiny little letters that dictated and showed him what was on and what he needed to include in his 100 page epic poem. Seeing it inspired me. The picture above is the house in which Toby's room was located- the house is called 
Merck.
Members of the freshman class also seem a little pompous. I was speaking with a few freshman and they were all preppy kids from wealthy families who could not stop talking trash about other students. I do not want to be part of that kind of environment, but I guess there is no escaping it since I will find groups like that at any college I attend.
If everything goes wrong with the college process, and if Bennington accepts me, I will most likely come here. Bennington isn't at all, bad- it's just that no one has ever heard of this college before. W.H. Auden and Bernard Malamud taught here and the current American ambassador to Saudi Arabia teaches here as well, according to a student. All classes are discussion- based and their is a tight relationship between students and teachers. There is also this Field Work Term program that exists at Bennington. It is a program that runs from December through January that let's students do any type 
of project they want to do. Students can go abroad or anywhere in the country and do volunteer work. The Student Life office helps out with obtaining grants and other things. Each student has an advisor who helps them plan their education at Bennington and almost every student at Bennington knows one another. Bennington is a pretty cool place and if I went here, I'd probably be happy. I just want to see if I will get into schools like Brown, Wesleyan, Carleton or Vassar and visit them before making any decision.
Anyway, besides all the great stuff Bennington College has- Vermont is a beautiful place. The college is surrounded by green. After I arrived and ate on Monday I went exploring and took pictures which you will see on here. I had a really great time.
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